1) I'm old.
2) I have muscles inside my muscles that didn't exist before I started working out. They are now relishing their newborn lives and coming out to say hello.
3) Talking muscles are not funny when they are in your back and ass and you can't face them to tell them to shut up.
4) Curves has no mirrors and all I can see is other people jiggling in front of me, so I'm pretty clear on what they see of me.
5) Teenage girls melt into a pool of designer goo when you take their cell phone a.k.a. lifeline away from them. They walk around in a daze like you disconnected a power cord. Not that this is relevant to numbers 1-4, but that's what I'm dealing with this morning so I thought I'd throw it out there.
6) I haven't written anything in several days now, and I'm starting to feel disconnected myself. Tonight's the night. Tonight's the night. Tonight's the night. Three times, right? That worked for Dorothy.