ROMANTIC WOMEN'S FICTION . . . WITH A PARANORMAL TWIST . . .

Friday, August 14, 2009

Barbie dolls need not apply...

Was going to do a snippet today, but I forgot this morning before I left, so that's another day.

In the meantime, lets visit some pet peeves...that sounds fun, doesn't it? Some of these I've visited before, but they're worth mentioning again. Just because they all seem to be circling me today.

1) Whistlers/hummers - please stop. I don't come sing in your office. Please don't come share your musical talent in mine.

2) Women who perpetually wear jackets or sweaters draped over the shoulders instead of on their body. Are the arms offending you? You look weak and frail and entirely too high maintenance, like you're just too good to commit to that jacket. Step outside your box and try the arms out, you can do it.

3) While we're on "women", women who put on makeup at the table. Everyone's had lunch, we all know we've eaten and that lips are now gone. It's okay. It's acceptable. We know you didn't arrive that way. I don't mind a quick swipe of lipstick, but don't pull out the armory and the mirrors and do the full 15 minute routine of liner and filler and gloss. That's just gross. Go to the bathroom if you must and come back beautiful, keep the mystery alive.

4) Page lickers. You know who you are. Can't turn a page without that trusty spit-upon finger. I don't want your dna. Please don't lick my paperwork and I won't sneeze on your keyboard.

5) Nasty slimy cell phones. I give mine a quick swipe of the hand when I hang up, because makeup and such gets on there. Nothing more appealing than someone handing you a phone that's full of 15 layers of makeup and dried sweat. Mmmm. Sweet.

and last one...

6) Major department stores putting plus size sections next to the petites. Now tell me...who's twisted idea is that? I tend to be the smaller end of large or the larger end of small, depending on your perspective, and sometimes when I hit the upper end of the scale I have to venture into the plus sizes. It's not fun. Nothing fun about having to shop when you've "outgrown" things. So while you're already feeling like crap about yourself, and have to go to a section that for some reason they think has to contain shirts with Tweety Bird and ugly lace on shapeless clothes and just basically unflattering things...because I guess they figure you don't need to look good? I don't know. But anyway, what you really want to see when you go there, is the Barbie Doll clothes 15 feet away. And those don't have Tweety Bird. Yep, it's morbid. And I'd like to have 5 minutes with the size 2 little chick that came up with the idea.

Deep breath. Okay. I feel better. So how's it going?? :))

8 comments:

Natalie said...

"And I'd like to have 5 minutes with the size 2 little chick that came up with the idea."

LMAO

You and me both.

Lazy Writer said...

I hate the page lickers, too! Another pet peeve of mine is gum smackers.

Mandy said...

Ya, that clothing store thing really gets under my skin too! I'm 5'2" and not a size 0!!!

Linda said...

I hate that lipstick/lipgloss/mirror thing at the table as well. Loved this post!

Janna Qualman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angie Ledbetter said...

Dear Store Merchandise Managers:

Please move your Plus Size garments back near Automotice. That way, I can shop in peace. :)

LOL on #4!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Ooops *Automotive*

Rebecca @sometimesnonsense said...

Awesome post! By the way I gave you an award so stop by and check it out!