Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Freebie

Haven't done a snippet in a what the heck.  Here's the setup:  Dani (mc who can see ghosts) is working in the bait shop, and has just found out she forgot to book a fishing guide for a customer, which means she has to do it.  She can't drive a boat and knows very little about the river, other than what she remembers growing up there, so she's in a panic.  The "customer" arrives and it's a dad and two little girls.  There has been an elderly-lady-spirit hanging around the shop all morning, and Dani hasn't been able to figure out why.  She helped her get rid of old classmates that were hassling her.  (By the way, there's a little vulgarity at the end)

     The girls' names were Celeste and Carole.  Eight year old twins, but not the wear-the-same-clothes-and-fool-the-teacher kind.  The brother left for some kind of practice, so Big Daddy and Annies one and two were left with me, all signed in and donned with Jiminy's caps.  Celeste didn't look happy with the hat idea.  She appeared to be the potential high maintenance future cheerleader, while Carole promised to follow a more library aide-slash-valedictorian route.
     Celeste kept taking her hat off and tucking her hair behind her ears and replacing it.  She had a neon pink rod and reel.  Carole brandished a blue one.  They were ready to go.
     Okay then.  I downed two more cups of coffee before remembering I was going to be out on the water for four hours.  Crap.
     "Okay, let's head down to the dock," I called with enthusiasm, hoping I was fooling the dad.
     I carried the tacklebox full of lures and Jiminy's notebook of laminated fish pictures and notations.  I'd cheat my way through.  Then as we reached the boat, the unexpected happened.  I heard it.  That unmistakable sound of body functions churning, rerouting, and spewing.
     I pivoted just in time to see little Carole pull a Linda Blair and blow forth half her body weight in vomit.
     I jumped back.  Celeste screamed.  The dad cursed.  Poor little Carole just turned green at the sight of what she'd done all over the dock, and did it again.  Thankfully, she missed the boat.  And the old lady sitting in it.  Winking at me again.
     The dad apologized and I turned the whole procession around, promising to reschedule when Carole was feeling better, and to please keep the hats.  I breathed a giant sigh of relief, and when they were out of earshot, I turned back to the old lady. 
     "What did you do?"
     "No offense, but I'd rather my grandkids not be run up on a sandbar or impaled with each other's hooks."
     She finished with a gravelly cough, which gave me the fleeting thought that I'd never heard a spirit cough.  Kinda figured that went by the wayside with that whole death thing.
     "Your grandkids?"
     "Yes ma'am."
     I began to laugh.  "Oh, that just too priceless."
     "They can come back another time."
     "You made her throw up?"
     She shrugged and her eyes lit up again.  "You learn things."  She got up slowly.  "And now she'll go home and be allowed to curl up in bed and read all day."
     I narrowed my eyes and pointed at her.  "You're good."
     "You're welcome."
     I laughed nervously.  "That too.  I was petrified."
     We started walking back up the dock, and I was careful to stay facing forward so no one would notice.
     "By the way, what did you say in Matty Sims' ear earlier?"
     She chuckled and coughed again.  "I told him his penis was hanging out."
     "And he heard you?"
     "Nah, just gives him the idea."
     "Man, where were you when I was in high school?"

(this post dedicated to my mom...)


Melissa Marsh said...

I love it!

Lesley said...

You're a good story telling, I felt I was right there with them. Good job!

Travis Erwin said...

Great job.

Journaling Woman said...

Really great snippet.